my body isnt a temple my body is a castle with a moat and crocodiles and a dragon who will set you on fire if you touch me
People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t
Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here”
And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone”
No Navi because I’m still standing in the middle of a f*****g crater
true self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn
why would the movie eat my popcorn
nevermind i get it
So if you’re not signed into tumblr and you go on someone’s blog, you’ll see this
And if you click the “Join Tumblr” button the background will be a post that that person reblogged, so I did it from my brother’s blog and
IM LAUGHIGN SO HARD ICAN’T BERAETGH
this is 911 state your emergency
YES I NEED HELP IMMEDIATELY I CAN’T FIND MY LIZARD
911 I THINK MY LIZARD IS BROKEN
YOU THINK YOU’VE GOT PROBLEMS? MY PHONE SEEMS TO HAVE LOST IT’S LEGS
911 I CAN’T GET MY PHONE OFF THE RECEIVER
MA’AM YOUR PHONE NEEDS TO BE IN THE UNLOCKED POSITION AND MAY NEED TO BE PROVIDED WITH ADDITIONAL HARDWARE TO FUNCTION CORRECTLY.
YES HELLO 911 CAN YOU HEAR ME I DROPPED MY HEADSET IN THE WATER DO YOU READ
TO BE HONEST 911, I AM NOT SURE WHAT MY PHONE IS DOING
911 MY PHONE IS FACING THE WRONG WAY AND I CAN’T GET IT TO TURN AROUND.
yes 911 hello all these people are crazy
I remember when I thought people in their 20’s were adults. Now all of my friends are in their 20’s and everybody is just kind of fumbling around bumping into each other, trying to figure out where the free food is……
so that’s pretty much what I’m expecting to experience for the next like 10 years.
the accuracy of this post is alarming.
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